Ok, I found this posted on another site and thought it was pretty funny. I guess it could be used on a bus,train or even at a cafe. though I probably wouldn’t recommend it as you’re likely to be detained and questioned for hours by authorities.

What to do if you are sitting next to an Irritating Passenger on a Plane.

1- Remove your lap top from its bag
2- Open the laptop slowly and carefully
3- Turn on
4- Ensure the passenger next to you is watching
5- Turn on the Internet
6- Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your gaze upwards to the skies as if in prayer
7- Take a deep breath and open this site
Click here for Info
8-Observe the facial expression of your neighbouring passenger